wrapping up OR more final thoughts

Phew. Just finished my paper and I know it is too long. I've spent the last day trying to cut it down but I don't know where to cut anymore.

There were other things I thought about this weekend while writing it that would have been interesting to write about here:

- my kids are exposed to a lot more cultural diversity than I ever was. My secondary school had two brown people and one black. My kids have grown up nextdoor to many different cultures and don't even think about it. I can still remember how many 'non-whites' there were in my school. Will they?

- my daughter loves to listen to Kim and Jerry Brodey's music about diversity. They are two Canadian children's performers who sing and perform anti-racist music and theatrics. It never occured to me how great an impact this has on her.

- do they feel any belonging to any cultural group? Do I?

final thoughts

Our nightmare paper is all handed in and I need to finish up the individual reflection paper. I've had a good thought I think - personal, meaningful - but another ethical dilemma. I think I'll have to take an ethics course at some time because this is where I always end up. I thought my philosophy course might have done in this vein but no luck - maybe gender and moral choice in the summer will.

The dilemma is my family's planned summer trip with our old group of homeschooling family friends. This year's trip is to a recreated native settlement, complete with sleeping in the longhouses. There is a canoe portion past the residence of Alexander G. Bell but I really doubt that anyone will be pointing out the disparity between how differently white and indigenous people lived. I don't think anything will be said about the Indian Act or about the status (or non-status as it were) of native women. I don't think anything at all will be said about racism or how it continues today.

The trip is hosted by a group of white people - which makes it worse I think - I'd hate it more I think if it were a group of native people trying to survive by selling off bits of their heritage/culture to white people. Like Dr. Forrest said in class - (paraphrased here) white people think that anything can be bought for a price, and if an individual has sufficient means to buy another culture than she often will. This is the thinking behind colonialism and imperialism I'd say.

I really need to copy that list of terms from Henry et al and tape it up beside my monitor. You'd think that now that the semester is over I'd have cemented which term means what - but no such luck as yet.

lordy lorde

Wow that woman is angry.

I think this is the third class in two years where Lorde has been part of the coursework. I'm not sure I remember her writing with/about so much anger before but then of course that is the title of the article ("The Uses of Anger: women Responding to Racism").

I've always had a problem with anger - other people's whether it's directed at me or elsewhere, and being/getting angry myself. Partly it's not appropriate for women to be angry...partly because I tend to take responsibility for whatever pain and injustice I experience. If it's my fault then I have no right to be angry. Besides, how can anger be productive?

Squeaky wheels aside, isn't there a saying 'you catch more flies with honey than vinegar"? But then is this a woman thing? These courses make me think too much. ;) Of all the people who try to get things done, which people pick which methods? Is it the powerless group that has to use honey? Those in power can stomp and storm and have their way by force?

Back to Lorde. . .

The part about "I can't afford it" and how it means different things to different people - i'm shocked that conferences don't offer such things as sliding scales and price breaks for people who need it. In the arts and homeschool and La Leche stuff I've done there has always been assistnace for people to participate who might not have sufficient funds. Maybe it's presumed that everyone in academia is rich - it seems to fit the stereotype. But of course, reality is student loans take years to pay off. And not everyone is tenure. And students present. And poor women/women of Color (Lorde's language) have as much and as much need to present at conferences. How can women's studies not see this? And for this year's frg - how can a woman who is struggling with childcare be hassled rather than offered assistance?

This article makes me think of the theory and practice debate. It's one thing to sit in a classroom and talk about racism, another to actually practice anti-racist behaviour. When I had dinner with some friends and the one woman's boyfriend was complaining about not being allowed to send peanuts in his kids' lunches and the inconvenience it causes him and how all those people with peanut allergies should just deal with it because it's their problem, not his, I saw how that could quickly be turned and applied to any other marginalized group. Afterwards one of the other people said to me it's the American way - the speaker is American and it's how they are socialized. I saw that as another label and not particularly useful. I'm allergic to peanuts, my sister carries an epi-pen for her peanut allergy - sometimes even inhaling peanut butter is enough to cause a very serious reaction. According to this type of thinking, we should just not go out into public. Apply this to anyone who has difficulty functioning in a society where the successful are white and male and there are a lot of people who just have to 'deal with it'. Not that being white and male is a surefire path to success, but it's a mighty privilege.

independently spiritual

Nasrulla's article made me happy. Especially the part where one of the women says 'Islam is in her heart'. Surrounded by all Western propoganda everywhere we turn, and all these WS courses where we talk about how damaging patriarchy is/has been to women it's nice to hear someone with the strength to (or at least appear to) make her own choice. She's decided that she can form her own interpretation and live how she chooses. She doesn't listen to the pressures to cover up nor has she completely given up her faith. I think this is a positive way to look at religion. There are messages each faith teaches. Each individual needs to be able to decide how she is going to incorporate these teachings into her own life. This freedom also allows an individual to pick and choose from the teachings of different faiths making her independently spiritual in a way - but that's a different course.

It must be hard to come from another culture to Canada. Especially a culture that has strict rules about appearance. Young women who choose not to wear hijab must deal with their parents, their communities, their peers. . . if they choose *to* wear hijab then they deal with stereotypes and stares.

I have four friends/acquaintances who've been on the Canada World Youth Exchange. One to Pakistan, one to Malawi, one to Thailand, and the last to India. All talked about the culture shock and withdrawal of living away from Canada - how participants came unglued, how one man became obsessed with coca-cola and wouldn't eat or drink the food of the area. I can only imagine what it would have been like for this person if he'd needed to leave Canada permanently and become a refugee or newcomer to his temporary home. It must be very very hard to leave your home, especially if you know there's no chance of going back.

To come to Canada and face the racism, however subtle or polite it is, really puts into perspective how difficult the situation back home must have been.

food-to-go

yikes! our group can get pretty excited.

This week we talked about mobile food stands based on Jessica Johnston's article about "Toronto's hot dog hegemony."

Yes, we spent too much time talking about it. One group member i though was going to lose it because we have an incredible amount of work left to do on our group paper and this article really doesn't look like it's going to contribute anything to our thesis. Still, it was an interesting read - light, accessible, current, and personal - 3 of us have lived in Toronto.

I said it was another part of white privilege - being able to get food you're familiar with wherever you go (not that I'd eat a hotdog mind you). I see Johnston's point - people in power decide the laws. They can claim they're for your own health and safety, but honestly they can say whatever they want. That's the thing about power. (I think the rest is something like absolute and corruption but that's another tangent. Must keep this blog on track or I'll never get the rest of my work done.)

Some group members tried to say that "all that ethnic food" is difficult to prepare, maintain safe temperatures, etc etc - basically saying that yes, the bylaw that makes only hotdogs available is a good one. I remember back in about 1990, living in Toronto, there were a couple of corn on the cob vendors. I never had any (too poor for such extravagance) but I always thought they looked like sunshine - bright yellow kernels, leaves pulled back and spread wide wide for effect. The barbecue steam was wonderful too. I was so hungry in those days. . .

I'm going to Toronto in a few weeks and I wonder what I'll see - I'm sure I'll see all manner of processed meat things, maybe a couple of veggie dogs. Pop. and Water. What would I like to see? Mmmmm if I could get some dahl in a pita I'd buy it. Same goes for hummus. Majadara? How about an apple, washed and ready to bite into?

I think there *is* a race issue involved. And I wish we would have had more time and maybe a class discussion on topics like this. Because the group really needed to let go of this for sake of the project I really don't feel like I really heard the other opinions or evidence to support their arguments and I don' t really feel that I got mine out clearly.

wip

Things are not going any better in the group. I was afraid that breaking up our group would show that we cannot accept diversity - a bad thing in a diversity class. I wasn't willing to risk the loss of a letter grade, and it feels like missing the point of the class. Now I'm thinking it might have been a good idea, just for sanity.

But anyway, I'm trying hard to let the paper unfold itself rather than forcing it like last time. I'm not interested in doing 5 rewrites of my individual section and then trying to bring all the pieces together like last time. I want *everyone* to understand whatever we're supposed to get out of the readings and I want *everyone* to see a thesis as being self-evident based on the discussions we have. Writing a paper is difficult. Writing a paper like this is difficult. Writing a paper like this with six other people is *very, very* difficult.

My favourite reading this week is Lavell. It's no wonder - it's the single mother article. Carol read it before part B started and said to me she felt I would enjoy it. It's nice to see legitimacy given to the struggle it is to go back to school. As a white person I know that I enjoy racial privilege. But even with my privilege it is difficult. From the sociology courses I have taken I know the stats against indigenous women (and men) and education are dismal. I cannot imagine the struggle it must be for a native woman to return to school as a single parent, no support, no childcare, no money...

Lavell is right - the amount of time it takes to fill in the forms for student loans, and other red tape is a nightmare. Add to it all the time it takes to find out what's available. I spend hours on it each month just looking for more funding sources and sending in the proper documentation for each thing.

I like her suggestions - the 'do nothing' approach is a new one I've learned in the last year. When someone says "you should take a time management course" it *is* an option to just say "maybe." Do people really want to know your details? Do they want the full story? Or is it back to Mukherjee - ignorance and solutions that seem simple from the outside?

Reading the poems about native women has gotten me thinking about our proposed summer trip with the homeschoolers - are we appropriating culture by touring a reservation? I don' want to be a gawker - I'm worried about the kind of play it will stimulate in my children after we get home again. Hmm. something to think about.

labels

Mirikitani doesn't like labels. Labels deny individuality. "do you orientals do everything so neatly?" the woman in the poem asks her. Egads - does this woman realize the stereotype she is making?

I've tried to come up with what someone might say about white people - "do all you white people do X so X?" and haven't come up with much yet. Maybe something like "Do all you white people assimilate every culture you encouter?" or "Are all you white people so fat?" I think in order to create a stereotype you have to first encounter an individual, pick out a characteristic and then apply it to the group. I'm not sure you can create a group and then a stereotype and then an individual.

I hate the single mother stereo-type. A few months after my ex walked out I had a newborn, 2 other kids and no money. I gave up trying to support us and applied for welfare. It was awful standing there with these three kids - one red head, one brunette, and one blonde and being asked who the father of each was. Maybe it was a formality - and it required that I begin proceedings for child support - but I got and still get this all the time. People figure if you're a single mother and your kids look this different that you must have a revolving bedroom door.

All single mothers do not have the same experience. All Asians, indigenous, etc do not have the same experience, skills, desires. Mirikitani's poem captures the hopelessness a stereotyped individual feels that this is life and people will never see past the label.

Or maybe they will if courses like this make any difference.