let 'em grow: Gill and Walker

This week when Dr. Forrest sat in on our group discussion to help us yet again focus our thesis (arrrrrrrgh) we somehow got involved in a discussion about leg shaving. It was suggested (or something like this) that women's leg shaving perpetuates heterosexist culture if she's doing it to satisfy society's expectations of female beauty. It was interesting that two women in the group did not understand why women shave their legs - they didn't understand that white women often have black hair on their legs. My horrible heterosexist comment was "if I woman has blonde hair on her legs or no hair at all then she doesn't need to shave her legs." Uggh. Carol caught me. I was so ashamed. What I meant was no one is going to call her a lesbian or call attention to her in other ways if she doesn't shave her legs because no one is going to know that she's not shaving. As far as it appears she has removed the hair on her legs.

We went further with the discussion in some email. Trying to wrap my head around how shaving legs is heterosexist, i.e. favouring heterosexuals I started digging. I came up with a conflict: leg shaving is enforced bythe patriarchal heterosexist expectation that women look a certain way (beautiful: thin, large breasts, child-like skin i.e. hairless skin). If someday, somewhere there is no more homophobia would that mean that women would no longer shave their legs? I didn't think so - therefore leg-shaving doesn't have anything to do with heterosexism: it's all about beauty norms. Another way I looked at it was if a lesbian is fully accepted as herself, and feels no pressure to be heterosexual, doesn't this mean she wouldn't shave her legs? I tried really hard to get my head around this 'leg shaving=anti-homosexual" idea. If a lesbian does shave her legs does that mean she hasn't resisted heterosexist culture?

I started shaving my legs about 2 years ago. Between the ages of 15 and 30 I did not. I graduated high school with hairy legs, I studied dance at York with hairy legs, I stood in my sister's summer wedding with an awful pink dress, hairy legs and thick ballet tights to hide them. I got married, had babies, and grew up with hairy legs. It wasn't until I rejoined the dating world that I reconsidered my choice not to shave. It wasn't until I started wanting a companion that I started considering my appearance, specifically the sight of hairy legs under a dress or with shorts. I no longer wanted to be harassed. I didn't want to stand out or be noticed. I wanted someone to notice me for my other features, not because of my challenge to the status quo. Part of my growth the past few years has been learning to choose my battles. Also I've learned to reflect my 'self' in ways that people can understand rather than ways that alienate and threaten. I've still got lots of 'wacko causes' - I'm not one to carry the status quo for long. But I've chosen to make my life easier in some ways/harder in others. I now have the chore of shaving my legs several times a week but I don't get heckled or looked at with disgust when I wear shorts or a skirt. I'll admit I miss the extra warmth on a winter day but I do like the slinky feel of freshly shaved legs in just-off-the-clothesline clean sheets.

I dunno. I hate my boyfriends stubble on his face when he kisses me with sharp whiskers. He hates picky legs. We compromise and do these things for each other. Does that mean I'm perpetuating heterosexist culture?

I guess it does.

Gill and Walker talk about the hetero feminist struggle of balancing the desire to resist heterosexist cultuer with the desire to be attractive. It's a struggle for sure: if I look good do I want to be told? Is it heterosexist for a guy to say something? Talking about double binds, I pity the man dating a feminist. ;)