re-do

I was planning to write my paper on heterosexist coercion because my last journal entries were getting to be so personally enlightening. Thinking about it some more though, I've decided that it's just waaay to personal a topic to write about. Reliving a rape experience as well as the negative vibes of the marriage was taking it's toll on my outside life i.e. I was getting very depressed.

I'm going to turn back to looking at gender marking and parenting and whether I'm a resistor or perpetuator with my own kids. I dunno how that will look in the end. I mean, I teach ballet - can't get more feminine than that. My boys turn everything into swords. Even just calling them 'the boys' is heterosexist. I should maybe be calling them child 2 and child 3....though that implies status. Names? do I call them only by name? Well, not on a public blog, that's for sure.

Is there a parent who fully resists heterosexist culture? I wonder. No one that I know, that's for sure and my travels through LLLC have taken me inside the dynamics of many North American families.

I guess I can try. I wish I knew how to better respond when the ballet students ask me about boys wearing toe shoes and tutus. There are some ballets where they do, but only as parodies. [double sigh]